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Why Nursing?

Why Nursing?

One of my friends/coworkers asked me the other day –

“Why did you go into nursing?”

“Why Nursing?”

Oh gosh, what a question. After these last few months, I have seriously asked myself “WHY?” so many times and have honestly forgotten why I went into this career. So let me try to tell you why I chose nursing.

What has helped me keep going during this slump in the career? To be frank, paychecks and student loans. I got bills to pay!! Yes, this may seem cold, but you don’t have to keep reading if you don’t want to. I’m pretty sure everyone has gone through questioning their career.

Why is there a slump and why am I questioning this?ย Maybe I am just not where I should be in my career; or maybe the where I am has me so drained I have nothing left to give. I have a strong feeling it is the latter reason to be frank. My job is wiping me out emotionally, mentally, and now it has taken a toll physically.

Now, to answer the question. I went into nursing because it was a fluid career. Nursing gave me an opportunity to travel and find a job anywhere I went. That is honestly why I went into nursing. I was not one of those people who went in initially because they really wanted to help people and cared about people. For me, that came later as I started to develop in my clinicals. I care about people, but I am not always the best at communicating how to them.

I graduated five years ago. Wow, that feels like a lifetime ago. If you’re a student nurse or even a new nurse you should keep a journal of their first few years in the real world. I wish I would have kept one during these past two years on a Medical-Surgical floor. Journals are amazing at self-discovery and reflection. All I have is my memories of how new I was a couple of years ago and how familiar it is to me now.

Why nursing? I am seriously unable to answer that still. I don’t know why nursing. I don’t even particularly think I’m all that good at it. I recognize that is something you’d never want to hear your nurse say, but it is the truth. I feel confident in my nursing skills, I just suck at bedside manner. I think inside my head a lot. However, overall, I’m gonna do my best to get you (the patient) better. I just need my patients to HELP me HELP them. That’s a whole other blog post and maybe a huge reason I am just feeling so burnt out on this whole nursing career.

Blogging is difficult.

Blogging is difficult.

I find writing down and blogging my ideas, thoughts, aspirations, crafts, creations, and just stuff challenging. Why? I don’t find my interests to be something someone else may be interested in.

My life is chaotic, full, and fulfilling. I like the things I do. I have bad and good days. I have things that stress me out and things that bring me joy. However, I just never believe my ideas are good enough to be shared.

I love using my Instagram account to share snapshots of my day, even into my realm of thought. Pictures with a statement, short and sweet sometimes but at other times they need more behind them.

The hubby set up this wonderful blog for me, helped me make it my own, and here I am wasting those efforts. Even if I am talking to nobody out there in the internet world, I should use it to help construct my thoughts.

Maybe instead of expecting myself to blog each day, which is WAY too much for me! I have a family, crocheting, knitting, gardening, exercise, dog stuffs, cleaning, nursing, cooking, adventuring, and so much stuff to be done (not to mention the fight with endo)! Also, therapeutic deep breathing to keep calm in between!! I don’t have time to blog each day, but maybe I can manage one or two a week. Let’s see. I’m very good at completing most of the tasks and hobbies in my life, but it always seems like blogging is never one of them. Oh well, there could be worse things to be bad at.

Cheers.

Plants, plants, and more plants…..

Plants, plants, and more plants…..

Oh dear!

Yesterday was such a full, busy, tiring day! We had lovely breakfast burritos for breakfast then went to Flower World in Snohomish. I wanted to go there because they had the best selection of succulents the last time we were there. I did not like the ones from Home Depot or QFC when we were there the last time.

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I picked up some little glass orbs from World Market for the previous succulents I had acquired. ย At Flower World the kids thought it would be fun to have their own plants ๐Ÿ™‚ So, Mark and I decided that this would be an amazing idea for plants whom like lots of neglect ๐Ÿ™‚

Here is Katie’s plants she chose, planted, and I believe named but I am not quite sure on that. I know she was upstairs for quite some time counting both plant’s leaves!ย IMG_3052

Here is Matthews choice ๐Ÿ™‚ He didn’t really help, his sister did most of the planting and organizing for him. Hahahah oh well, it is on his window sill and will most likely fall off. Hahahaha. … especially with him being a boy and us having cats.

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Mark liked this indoor plant, it was only 99cents so I decided to get it and see if I can keep it alive.

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Here is Mark’s succulent’s. He apparently had one like the one in the middle here for 15 years. He was said he was sad to lose it because it had grown so large in the time he had it!! We have started him a whole new one to replace that lost one.ย IMG_3055

Oh and this one was for me… a Creeping Myrtle ๐Ÿ™‚ Love it….We will hang it later.

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Completed Bath Bombs :)

Completed Bath Bombs :)

I have a quick update! I completed the bath bombs!!! Stored them safely and last night used one ๐Ÿ™‚

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I had two types, the coloured ones and the white ones. Both are made with lavender and bergamot. I found out a missing ingredient though…. corn starch! Add 1 part corn starch to my previous blog post on Homemade Bath Bombs.

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See, THEY ACTUALLY FIZZED!!!

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They aren’t necessarily the prettiest, yet, but here is one ๐Ÿ™‚ I did add some lavender flower to the tops. Soon I will have my own lavender to add!!

 

 

July 4th with my Brit!!

July 4th with my Brit!!

Well, my lovely Brit and I had an amazing July 4th. We spent the majority of it doing yard work! Hahahaha, we got an amazing mower! Battery powered, isn’t took loud, and still works great!! Look at it!

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We were able to get all the grass mowed and then replanted our honeysuckle and some Sweet Williams. Of course there was a Home Depot trip in the middle.

Mark and I had some delicious homemade ham and swiss croissants this morning with really yummy scrambled eggs made with home-grown herbs ๐Ÿ™‚ I love all our home things ๐Ÿ™‚ We ate, then started our really fun day of yard work together at 10.

 

Oh goodness, it was close to 4pm when Mark and I realized just how long we had been in the sun working. My back is proof of this atrocity!

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Look at those lovely colours! Isn’t my back gorgeous! Hahahahahaha. I quickly took a bath in epsom salts (Mark did run to the store to grab this for me…. he also got Aloe Gel…. love that man; he is the best!!!).

Well anyway, I did this amazing bath……

2cup Epsom salt
1 cup white vinegar
15 drops lavender oil
1/2 cup coconut oil
And add it all to a nice warm bath

It has helped A LOT! After the bath I then took a cold shower. My burn doesn’t itch or hurt!!! Mark has applied Aloe twice now for me ๐Ÿ™‚ Love that caring Brit!

After all this Kyle came over and we had dinner!!! And then made some fruit smoothies of awesomeness! It had blueberries and strawberries! Mark did an amazing job making it. ๐Ÿ™‚ We played Quiddler and of course I lost, but I REALLY like playing that game. ย I did get Robot Cleavers!! BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Well that was our day! Hope you guys had a great 4th! Mine was surely, and deservingly, relaxing. ๐Ÿ™‚ We are now watching The Fifth Element.

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I am super excited that Mark and I have a HEALTHY lifestyle. It makes me happy ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Mornings, kids, plants, glories, gardening, dogs…. Oh the busy-ness of life!

Mornings, kids, plants, glories, gardening, dogs…. Oh the busy-ness of life!

Oh goodness! Where to even start! We MOVED! YAY! Last week we moved to our new house and it is a lovely house! We moved to be closer to Mark’s kids and also to have a very house of our own. The children LOVE the house!! So exciting! They had a lot of fun moving and packing while we were doing so the week they were with us. I had a lot of fun teaching them things and hanging out with them as well ๐Ÿ™‚

Morning Glories:ย I planted some Morning Glories to put along our rock wall (see it in the window in the below picture) in the back garden. Well, I only planted them on June 26th and look what we have today!!

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WOAH! They really sprung up there! I am going to replant them with some sticks to start vining up tomorrow or the next couple days. The kids watched me plant them and helped; they are going to be so excited to see them all grown!

Katie’s Birthday:ย Katie had a wonderful birthday before her birthday!! Her dad got her a new bike for the new house!! She loved it! We also had Nana and Poppy over for dinner on Sunday night where we treated them to our traditional Sunday dinner of sausage roll (vegetarian of course!) and veggies. Do not forget Katie’s favourite part though, the SWEET CHILI SAUCE! That girl loved it. My parent’s I think liked it too! Nana gave Katie some lovely outfits for her to wear here, and boy did she look all grown up! I can’t believe how much she has developed into a lovely girl in just this last year! She is just simply gorgeous already. She must have got her dad’s looks! ย ๐Ÿ™‚

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This was from our walk the evening we were fully moved in ๐Ÿ™‚

My Man and Our Dog: ย (just pictures of my lovely man of a Man and our dog)

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Tortillas:ย What do you do when you don’t have tortillas at home and you don’t want to take the quick trip to the store to buy some? MAKE THEM!!! (yea yea, I know it took me 1.25 hours, but it was TOTALLY worth it!

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Tonight’s dinner was COMPLETELY homemade enchiladas ๐Ÿ™‚ Sauce and all! We used lentils for protein, insides were made up of eggplant, mushrooms and yellow pepper, all the while being placed in those delicious homemade tortillas ๐Ÿ™‚ It was worth the effort for sure! I absolutely love my gas stove top and oven! I had all four burners going at once! Mark was most impressed.

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(this is my ugly shirt, I like my ugly shirt)
Castor Oil and Clove Oil:
I have chosen a new oil to try out and that is Clove oil. I add a new one from time to time to try them out. Clove is good for scars and skin care in general. I have also added castor oil into my regimen! I placed some mixed with clove oil on my face this evening and will be sleeping with it on. Honestly, castor oil doesn’t feel like I have oil on my face as olive oil and even my best friend, coconut oil, does. Also, I love the clove smell ๐Ÿ™‚ Now that I have added clove to my collection, I am able to make up a great headache mix for Matthew to use while he is here. It will go along perfectly with his sleeping “potion” I made him and Katie.

Some pictures ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

 

Mark and I enjoyed some lovely, homemade strawberry daiquiri on our first REALLY hot day!ย 
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Here is some pictures of the kids! Katie getting her bike, them laughing and giggling maniacally. They laugh so much when they are with us, I know it feels me with joy to hear their laughter.
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Matther and Mark worked hard at getting our outdoor seating assembled the first night ๐Ÿ™‚
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Kids playing in the yard with the dog ๐Ÿ™‚
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Here was the view tonight! No filter! Just an iPhone ๐Ÿ™‚ Lovely sky!!!
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Finally, I wanted to show you my two other things I am growing… the first one is Sage and Rosemary. apparently they are really challenging to grow and take a long time to germinate, so there is nothing to see but dirt. The second picture is my chamomile and lavender! All the chamomile have sprung up and one of the lavender ๐Ÿ™‚ Just waiting!
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Enjoy my overly long post!

The New Digggggs!

The New Digggggs!

So today Mark and I woke up, had breakfast and immediately started packing our house…. We made a huge dent! IMG_2095

ย The kitchen is basically empty and our bedrooms are pretty much packed! Mark OCD’ed on all the boxes and organized those. After getting fed up with packing for an hour or two we then decided to head to our house and check out the yard. We of course used Jazzpurr as an excuse to go “check it out” just so we could run him around.

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The house is lovely!!

Katie (Mark’s daughter) and I are going to decorate a portion of the house cubbies with our candle stick and the rose from the night Mark proposed. Seriously one of my wine bottles that hold one of my favourite roses. It is one of my most treasured little things that ย I want to place in our house with a picture of him and I.

Anyway, Jazzpurr ran around and we looked around, then we left. We then found this amazing little spot in downtown Bothell. It is called “The Hop and the Hound” the owners there were amazing! Also it was their dog Charlie’s birthday!! He is 11 years old today, and in honor of his birthday they were giving a dollar each pint the charity that helps older dogs find homes!

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Mark and I loved meeting them and chatting with them. They are also in works with the lovely cafe down the road we love, Alexa’s!!! We can not wait to get to know everyone in that little down town area ๐Ÿ™‚ We are also excited to have a lovely home to invite our friends over for casual lovely dinners.

It is now around 8pm and Mark and I so done with packing. Dinner tonight will be leftover curry or cereal since we are in the midsts of packing.

4 More Showers to go in this place…. I am surely going to miss our spot in Redmond.. but I am also excited for what is new.

Simple Musings

Simple Musings

I am kinda sad we are going to be moving away from this lovely town home in Redmond ๐Ÿ™ It is always so peaceful on the balcony, even the cats love watching the kids run back and forth.

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However, it is time for us to be on our way to the next series in our lives together, Mark and I. We are getting a lovely house together! We are really excited to decorate, tend to, and make it ours ๐Ÿ™‚ Mark has already gotten me a lovely swing to put on our front porch. Our master bathroom is lovely!!! I can’t wait to make all my face washes, body scrubs, bath tinctures, and all that other hippie stuff I do!

Mark and I are excited to have our lovely back yard all tended to as well! Oh man, we just can’t wait to plant our flowers I have been growing out on our balcony. I started them from seeds! Now look how they have grown! They are happy little plants! I actually took that picture last week, so they are even fuller now! I can’t wait to plant them in our yard.

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Oh man. Mark brought me a lovely bunch of sunflowers on my last day at that awful SNF I was working at. I do miss my patients but not the work environment. This little ones center was just so lovely. They have such lovely names, Helianthus.

Fun tidbit: A good carrier oil is Sunflower oil for your essential oils. It is great for massages, body lotions, ย and body oils. So go ahead, put some lavender oil in with your sunflower oil and give your partner a nice massage before bed. Not only will you be rested, but lavender is also an aphrodisiac. ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a fantastic evening with your Love!!

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Here are some oils I picked up on sale this weekend ๐Ÿ™‚ I know a lot of people are into the doTerra right now, but they can be REALLY expensive and we are on a budget with the new house and all ๐Ÿ˜› !! I also find great joy in mixing my own mixes and doing all my own little things. The three oils I always have with me are grapefruit, lavender, and peppermint. Today I added bergamot to that list!! Mmmmm… it is such a lovely smell!

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I have done my nightly routine, it is time for my Love and I to watch the rest of Dr. Who with the kids and then onto our finale of Game of Thrones! Can’t wait to finish this season off! I’m hoping next season is full of boom!

Being a “Step”

Being a “Step”

I have to say one of the biggest struggles I have had in my recent years has been being a “step parent”. I do not want to be the kid’s mother, I do not want to take their mother’s place… honestly, I am not even sure I want to ever give birth to a child and ever be a “mother”. ย But having these lovely kids in and out of my life has proven to be very emotionally challenging.ย ย I love them entirely, just as I love the kids I have encountered in Africa. Their dad is an amazing man. He is generous, loving, soft, selfless, and incredibly gentle. I do not think they see it just yet because he is their father. The amount of bullcrap he puts up with just so he can continue to have his every other weekend and a few other odd weeks here and there with them is ridiculous. He is an incredibly loving father who wants the best for his children. I have never wanted to have kids until I saw what a great dad this man is to the kids he gets to see part-time. This man makes me want to have kids so him and I can have a family together. ย I want to give him a family he can connect with fully. However, once I think of all the physiological changes my body would have to go through to have said children I would much rather just have a dog and part-time kids instead. ย Call me selfish.

It has become quite evident that the kids are not allowed to mention me to the other set of parents,ย the kids have told us as much.. Yes, their mother is remarried and is even pregnant with their new little one (the kids have said it is a girl soย congratulationsย to them) but it still seems to bother her that Mark is remarried to another lady. ย It is also evident that the other set of parents have made fun of the way I (or Mark) do things. Logically, this should not bother me; however, there are some times that I just want to scream because of the things the children mention to us that the other set of parents say or do about their father or I. It just becomes so frustrating and menial. I mean, we get angry emails about the children not having their clothes folded properly. First off, we have the kids do their own laundry, fold their own clothes, and pack their own bags when they go back to the other set of parents house. We want to teach the kids to think for themselves and be self-sufficient. If the clothes are not folded to standard of the step father then he needs to teach them how he wants it done, that is not our job. We teach the kids to take care of their things.

I want them to have morals of honesty, integrity, and self-respect. I want to start taking them to Sunday School because I realised how important that was in my early childhood. Dad didn’t start taking me until I was 8 years of age so I know it is not too late to start taking them. Maybe I will take them to at least have something to consider a solid rock while their life is going to be consistent change and messy.

Life, kids, and the future husband of my world :)

Life, kids, and the future husband of my world :)

Recently I have been around children a lot, working a lot, and just all over living life a lot. You see, Mark and I are getting a house, we have his kids every other weekend (plus other BONUS weekends that I LOVE with them), we do things with just us the other weekends, and I am now working day shift (Which is AWESOME). I love being home with him and the kids while they are here in the evenings.

We have great fun ๐Ÿ™‚ One weekend we went to Snoqualmie Falls one weekend and it was full of smiles and learning ๐Ÿ™‚

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See, there is my handsome man with his kids ๐Ÿ™‚ I can usually get some great smiles from them for cameras. I have seen some sour faces from them in previous pictures!! Don’t like those!

Another weekend we went to Volunteer Park and walked around a lot of different places. We saw people LARPing in the park, went through the greenhouse, watched My Neighbor Totoro that evening. The kids took the soot sprites around all over the place and took lots of happy pictures ๐Ÿ™‚

We sat on camels, walked up water towers, danced, had a Ministry of Silly Walks, and saw fun things and ate amazing chocolate!!

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Those are two faces of two of the guys I love in my life ๐Ÿ™‚

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Then this past weekend we had some great fun with ย the kids doing things in Seattle.

They smile so brightly ๐Ÿ™‚ And Mark and I take #usies

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Long story short, but I am quite enjoying my time outside of work with my family. And I can’t wait for more time spent with them full of smiles and happiness. Also the kids have been quite enjoying the vegetarian lifestyle we tend to have ๐Ÿ™‚ Must post recipes later.