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Why Nursing?

Why Nursing?

One of my friends/coworkers asked me the other day –

“Why did you go into nursing?”

“Why Nursing?”

Oh gosh, what a question. After these last few months, I have seriously asked myself “WHY?” so many times and have honestly forgotten why I went into this career. So let me try to tell you why I chose nursing.

What has helped me keep going during this slump in the career? To be frank, paychecks and student loans. I got bills to pay!! Yes, this may seem cold, but you don’t have to keep reading if you don’t want to. I’m pretty sure everyone has gone through questioning their career.

Why is there a slump and why am I questioning this? Maybe I am just not where I should be in my career; or maybe the where I am has me so drained I have nothing left to give. I have a strong feeling it is the latter reason to be frank. My job is wiping me out emotionally, mentally, and now it has taken a toll physically.

Now, to answer the question. I went into nursing because it was a fluid career. Nursing gave me an opportunity to travel and find a job anywhere I went. That is honestly why I went into nursing. I was not one of those people who went in initially because they really wanted to help people and cared about people. For me, that came later as I started to develop in my clinicals. I care about people, but I am not always the best at communicating how to them.

I graduated five years ago. Wow, that feels like a lifetime ago. If you’re a student nurse or even a new nurse you should keep a journal of their first few years in the real world. I wish I would have kept one during these past two years on a Medical-Surgical floor. Journals are amazing at self-discovery and reflection. All I have is my memories of how new I was a couple of years ago and how familiar it is to me now.

Why nursing? I am seriously unable to answer that still. I don’t know why nursing. I don’t even particularly think I’m all that good at it. I recognize that is something you’d never want to hear your nurse say, but it is the truth. I feel confident in my nursing skills, I just suck at bedside manner. I think inside my head a lot. However, overall, I’m gonna do my best to get you (the patient) better. I just need my patients to HELP me HELP them. That’s a whole other blog post and maybe a huge reason I am just feeling so burnt out on this whole nursing career.

Keshia RN, BSN

Keshia RN, BSN

KeshiaRN

Well, there it is. My name tag. Nothing important to a normal person, but that name tag with that “RN” on the bottom took me many years to achieve. And maybe I don’t have a glamorous job, but I get to wear pajamas to work so you can deal with it 🙂

My first week was fun!! I got 12 patients on my second day there, state survey came in for their annual visit on my third day, and on my fifth day my boss let me know he plans on making me the charge nurse on evening shift by Saturday. Well now. … that’s a doozy isn’t is? I think so.

I am on the run today. I went to the gym yesterday and today and have still been getting up around 830 and 900 even though I have been up til 1ish or so. Still enough sleep. It is now noon and I need to finish up my brown rice for my dinners, do some dishes, face mask, shower, and head on my way to work 🙂

Tomorrow’s my birthday 🙂 I hope I have a good day ahahaha

Got to go. Hope this was enough to satisfy blog readers. What would you like me to talk about??

Magnaminty, Scrubs, and generic life things

Magnaminty, Scrubs, and generic life things

Well, today has so far been a fun day 🙂 Woke up in a great mood, snuggled with River a bit, then went off to the gym. I finally brought my printer in. Hahahaha, I just have to find all the cords for it now because I need to scan items and send them into different organizations for name changes and such. Le sigh.

On other news, I need my usual LUSH face mask today… Mask of Magnaminty 🙂

Everytime I do this mask I feel like I just perked up my skin… like it just got its own little lift and tighten 🙂 My face likes it 🙂

I did a lot of little organizing yesterday. You see, I got a nursing job which means my income is going to increase with just one job. Yes, I have a bunch of money to spend on student loans, but otherwise I will be doing a lot better off than I am doing now. I have three little part time jobs I work but they don’t help pay nearly enough. Also, my job will have benefits so I won’t have to pay the amount I’m paying now for healthcare! WOOO!

But in preparation for my nursing job, I went out and bought some scrubs of different colours!! I am excited to finally wear scrubs!  🙂

But, I used my little composition book that I have all my bills lined out in to organize my bills, needs, and wants. 🙂 My wants were very simple actually. I want to buy a good pair of shoes for work, I want to buy a new pair of toe shoes, and I want to eventually have my own apartment.

I’m excited to have a steady income, to pay student loans, to pay Serve the Children, to pay for rent, to pay for all my other bills, and probably save a little on the side as well 🙂 After all my adult things are taken care of after my first two paychecks, I’m taking myself out to dinner and I might bring Josh along 😛

Well, I’m off to shower and rinse off my mask. I have work tonight at the pub. I’m so thankful for this job. If it wasn’t for my Bossman hiring me there and people accepting me, I wouldn’t have made it these last few months. Not just financially but also emotionally. JJs was a great blessing these last few months and I honestly don’t know what I would have done without it.

 

 

Decisions, coffee, kittens, and fine dining.

Decisions, coffee, kittens, and fine dining.

So my life has been crazy. My divorce is finalized in about 10 days, I need to study to pass a test or two, work has been lacking, rent needs to be paid, a roommate looks like it may happen for when I have to move out around October, I’m losing weight without really trying ( I credit this to not having to study ALL day and being in a healthier place than I was in the marriage), I enjoy being outside and I do my best to get out there and walk and hike!

Basically, I study, work (when they call), study, make plans, clean, and stress out. I have an old friend from when I worked at Starbucks back in the day that would like to be roommates with me. I hope things work out, because I seriously LOVED her and wanted to be roommates with her a few years ago. I did something silly and applied to work at Starbucks, because if I can’t get a nursing job in the next six months (apparently it can be kinda tough) I need some sort of income and I know Starbucks, I’m good at it, and hopefully it would give me more consistent hours than I am getting now. Even if I just work part-time, then do my other job part-time, and study… I will be fine.

I’m going to start applying to 2 hospitals in the area a day or at least 6 to 8 (maybe 10) a week from now til I get a job. Who cares if I don’t have my NCLEX taken yet, I am just going to apply.

Also, I just gotta have faith I’m going to be fine.

Time to shower, head to Cafe Ricoco, and study. I have to work out sometime today so I will throw workout clothes in my bag for later.

Oh the kitten is amazingly cute and adorable. Finally settled on calling her River from Firefly cause she has crazy eyes!!! She snuggled with me and purred for a good portion of the morning. I feel so blessed to have found such a perfect kitten for me. I really feel that she was meant for me.

Keep praying for my tests, finances, organization, studying, roommates, and my family. I’m having a hard time and just need some support.