Today I was overcome with regrets. Overcome with the regret that I wish I could have been the person I am now 5 years ago. Five years ago I was just starting at Northwest University to finish all the prerequisites I had for nursing school. I wish I was who I am today then. I would have had a green house garden in my dorm room been a stricter vegetarian with stricter regulations for myself, I would have ignored dating boys for just a bit longer, I would have worked all my spare time at Starbucks and maybe even started working at PCC. I would have studied harder, crocheted more, embraced my hippie, and most of all… I would have believed in myself more.
I wish I could go back and tell that girl to just BELIEVE in herself. That who she is and wants to be is something she should never give up on. I wish I wasn’t such a stiff headed, pain-in-the-ass person sometimes to even be able to tell myself that.
I suppose we all reach this point, where we would like to go back with the knowledge and knowhow that we have now. I also realize, I had to go through all those things to be where I am now. I will never get rid of experiences who made me who I am.
To be honest, I didn’t make a lot of friends at University. I have one friend from there I still talk to on a regular basis and he means the world to me. But I wish I studied harder. I wish I would have been that person who had a green house in her dorm room, because honestly I had the BEST window to do so.
I wouldn’t have gotten married the first time around. I would have continued dating as my parents advised during that first year of nursing school, because honestly we would have broken up by then anyway.
I would have been able to get my first nursing job with a residency as opposed as at a skilled nursing facility.
However, if I did go back and redo all these things I wish I could have redone….. my life wouldn’t be the same.
But I would have had plants all warm with their COZIES!