Conflicted

Conflicted

Recently, I have been feeling conflicted about MY meat consumption. Why? Your guess is as good as mine at this point. So, a couple of weeks back I decided to just do a “Vegetarian Challenge” (?) for myself. This post is not about that, this one will be more about the background of it all.

I have always had a small inner conflict with eating meat, but I still eat meat and so does my family. I don’t have any passionate, political reason or even health reason why I should or should not eat meat (aside from beef which makes me VERY sick). Personally, I don’t even understand why there is a conflict within myself about it.

I first attempted being a vegetarian when I was a 12/13 year old, of course I did what most 12/13 year olds probably do and just had a vegetarian junk food diet. Also, the fruit and vegetables in New Mexico just seemed so dry/bland compared to what we get in the Pacific Northwest.

Throughout my adult life I have had an on and off again relationship with vegetarianism as well as a vegan attempt – which is a fail… I LOVE EGGS.

I have been having the stronger feelings about it bubble up more over the last few months, but these last several months it has been in my mind more and more. It started while I was grinding up some meat to prep it for future use. I had an overwhelming realization about just how conflicted I am about this whole thing. I was kinda upset with myself and disappointed in myself that I could never stick with a vegetarian diet. I always crave chicken when I decide to not eat meat, ALWAYS crave. Nothing satisfies it!! I just want grilled chicken. I have tried to substitute by adding higher proteins into the vegetarian diet — chickpeas, other beans, plant protein powder drinks/bars, lentils, and many other things. I am just never satisfied.

I won’t give up eggs, I like them too much. I also like my goat/buffalo cheeses as well as delicious butter (pretty much the only thing I tolerate from cow’s milk) On a side note, the other week my daughter asked me a question that I still laugh about now. She asked “What’s good about goat cheese?” but before I could answer she quickly replied with a very emphatic “NOTHING!”…. I laughed. As you can tell, she does not like goat cheese. The funniest thing to me is the fact she will probably enjoy it as an adult…. hahahaha I will laugh when that happens.

But why do I still feel conflicted? I have no idea, but I do. You will see my recipes and know I am very diverse in vegetarian, vegan and meat dishes.

Til next time,
Keeks

 

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